What I found most interesting was when he failed to get his rejection from a Krispy Kreme worker. Sometimes I don’t ask for what we really want or I tend to tend to water it down for fear of seem presumptuous or rude. (totally my green gremlin rearing it’s ugly head)
His Rejection Therapy Project made me think less of rejection and more about asking. I should be asking more. Like a LOT more. Everyday on a daily basis. Asking for what I want without being paralyzed by fear or apologetic for wanting. I need to get into the habit of making the “BIG ASK” even if I get a NO because eventually someone will say YES!!!
After looking through Jai’s videos it pretty apparent that I’m not the only one that gets paralyzed by the fear of asking. So, I did a little more googling and came across Amanda Palmer’s Ted Talk which is a really nice quick shot of inspiration and this awesome Stanford lecture that talks about the actual statistics of asking. (it’s about an hour long but well worth the watch)
I find it fascinating that we let our minds trick us into believing it’s going to be worse or take longer then it actually does. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve let my mind talk me out of doing something. So silly, but so very real and paralyzing when it’s happening. I wonder why some people feel this fear so strongly while others appear are able to easily walk through it without even blinking?
Here are 2 of the most important pointers that I picked up. They are actually quite simple and I think because of that we often forget to do them. I’m going to try to start to actually put these into practice:
- Be upfront and direct. Bold and undiluted! No watering down!! The trick is not to come across harsh or abrasive. So there is a bit of finesse involved.
- Face-to-Face An in person interaction is best! It’s harder for someone to say NO to you if you’re being sincere and looking them directly in the eye.
- IF a Face-to-Face is not an realistic option try a phone call. No one makes phone calls any more. With a personal email coming in last.
Since I’m normally more of an email kind of girl I wanted to find some good email examples that demonstrate how you should phrase a request. Just the thought of picking of the phone to make a cold call fills me with anxiety and makes my heat race (something that I’m going to definitely have to work on). I came across these three examples:
- Asking for a pass to get into a conference
- Asking someone to vote for you in an online contest
- Advice on how to get connected to someone’s Litary Agent
If you found this info useful help me spread the word by sharing this post on your facebook page, tweeting it, pining it, or just emailing it to your BFF.