My internal conversatation with myself

Procrastination, I am very good at it. Recently I’ve realized that my procrastination is usually related to having anxiety and fear about whatever it is that I’m avoiding.

I’m working on tackling my fear by rationalize with myself to be more proactive in combating this type of behavior . Here is typical conversatation that I have with myself:

ME: “Why haven’t you finished your illustration? What are you really afraid of?”

me: “Making a mistake and screwing it up.”

ME: “Well, if you mess up the illustration you will be able to fix it. Or worstcase sinero you can just start over.”

me: “But I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want to start over.”

ME: “Is it really the worst thing in the world?”

me: “No, but I will be wasting a lot of time. Who wants to start over? I don’t
want to start over.”

ME: “But if you have to start over you know that it will be a better piece. You’ve already had practice doing it once and it will go quickly.”

me: “I know but starting over make me feel defeated.I hate to have to start
over.”

ME: “You are only defeated if you don’t start over. If you don’t take the risk you will never finish. You are wasting more time now then if you just sat down and worked on it. And perhaps you get it right on the first try, then you won’t have to start over. But you’ll never know unless you just sit down and do it.”

me: “Yes, Yes your right. I just have to sit down and get to work. But first I
have to go to the bathroom, eat and do the laundary.”

ME: “No, start NOW!”

me: “OK, OK I’ll start just as soon as I clean my work area.”

ME: “When have you ever been that neat? Your avoiding starting. Sit down and just start.”

me: “ALRIGHT! I’m starting are you happy now?”

Funny that I go through this little talk in my head so often. And you know what, I hardly ever have to start completely over. I do make mistakes that I have to fix but rarely do I have to completely start over. So it’s a dumb fear to have, but I still go thorough it every single time.

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